Oh wow… I can’t tell you how much of a contrast last week seemed compared to this week. Last week was such a great and awesome week. We were laughing and the mood was light and everyone was happy at work because everything else in our lives were happy. But today… unfortunately, Kelly and I are in the same boat this week. We both got in scuffles with the hubbies yesterday, and today doesn’t seem too much like a good day either. We are so pooped and tired out from all the bickering and so we decided to have a girls night sleepover at the boss’s house. Which will be kinda cool. I think we’re very much so in need of it.

Other than that, the finance department of my life will soon be disrupted with MORE financial worries as my hubby is too stubborn to listen to me. That’s why we were on ends yesterday, because I feel that we’re not ready to take on this new car, and yet he’s pushing so hard for it. Plus because his parents are co-signing it for us, he has to get their input. It’s not really something that I like, but I’m so sick of being in debt. I wish I can have $1,000,000 right now at my dispense so I can clear off all my credit cards, and my house, and be able to live comfortably. That’s my dream…

Oh my! The sun is up and out! Wow, what I difference from yesterday morning! I’m in a much happier mood! This morning as I got up to go to work, it was sooooo slippery, I almost ran into the curb. Thank goodness I was able to brake in time. But the guy behind me was probably laughing at me because I sped up so I can pass him because he was too slow. Oh well, I don’t care! ^-^ The sun is out!! I’m prepared to do some jogging starting tomorrow with my co-worker!!! We’re going to take morning walks/jogs, of course the beginning we’re going to be super slow. But then hopefully, we’ll get into really great shape because we’ll be going on vacation during this summer, and of course the beach is on the schedule.

On top of that, the house is coming… we’re prepared to do our paperwork cycle again, please pray for me because we need to get a lower rate, and on top of that… we need to get approved. Because my hubby and I are both self employed, no banks would want us (cries). Hopefully my mom’s friend can be a miracle worker, and pull through for us… On top of that, by the end of this week, we should be getting our new car if our finances goes through. Again… we needed his stepdad to co-sign, and again, I think it is because both of us are self-employed. They don’t like the term self-employed, I swear.

I’m finally caught up in paying my bills. I get paid this friday, however hopefully we’ll be able to start clearing our debt.

Sorry I haven't posted here for a while. Had a lot on my plate, and had some ruffles to smooth out. And now that it's smoothed out, I feel much better, and so I'm back now!

It’s pretty sad… I’m one of the only ones in work today…. which is not a bad thing. I almost could not find parking this morning, until I had to force myself to parallel park.

I was really upset at the hubby yesterday, because yesterday afternoon, he went out to was the car with his friends, and then he went to go play for a couple of hours. About almost to 9pm, he calls me and said that he wanted to go to his “girl” friend’s house because they wanted to put on my other guy friend’s rims. I was pretty mad because changing rims doesn’t take just 20 minutes… it can take up to even 4 hours! And that’s exactly what happened. He came home about almost midnight, and I was in bed already and because I was fuming, I pretended that I was sleeping. Is it wrong of me to react that way? I mean, I have compromised this far, that you know, he goes out for a couple of hours, I don’t have to be there. But when I have asked him to be home at a certain time because you know, compromising is like that, and he couldn’t even make it. It makes me feel that sometimes, he wants to rather go all out and forget about what I asked of him, or else he would just go back into the mindset that I’m trying to control him, or limit him of what he can do. I don’t know how to have him see… that it’s a “two way street now. If you’re not gonna stop for me, eventually I won’t stop for you.” Should I be a bit more opened with this here?

Dear World,

I realized that over the past couple of years, I have missed something in myself, something that I had hidden away from everyone else but the few I truly loved. I know it's unfair to you, and that you do deserve more, but due to the lack of compassion that I had received in the last two years has shattered my faith and hope in ever regaining the part of me that I had lost. I realized that I shouldn't be taking it out on you, and I need to have more patience and compassion. It is not because I lack understanding of the circumstances or situation, but I run dry when people break down and do not seem to accept the situation, embrace it, and run with it to produce a better outcome for themselves. I lack the compassion for those who are out to prove themselves instead of realizing that self-acceptance is all they truly and reall need. I lack the compassion for those who are experiencing hardships over and over again, who continuly got hit with crappers from the fan, and I lack the compassion for those who have burdens that are too heavy for them to handle themselves. For that, I am sorry.

But also for that, I am determined to gain back the compassion I once saw through my eyes onto the world, and gave the benefit of the doubt to everyone around me. I am determined to shine again, and become the light I once was, and the cheers and encouragement in the dark to everyone else around me. That much, I know I can promise to become for you again.

Love, Teelia.

Oh I am crazy hurting today!! I just got back into town from snowboarding, and I think I outdone myself this time… Every muscle in my body is hurting quite bad, and especially my tailbone! My arm muscles and legs, hurts at every move… Why am I hurting so bad? Well we went to Niskiska yesterday for a day on the hills, and I was geared up and everything. Before we even hit the mountains, it was RAINING! So when we got to the parking lot, it was all muddy, and I was walking around in my SNOWpants in mud! And then we had to wait for about 1 hour in the tech shop so we can see if they can fix my bindings, because I snapped it off last time I went boarding. The tech guy who fixed my binding said he was gonna charge us $20, but when we went to go pay, the cashier was like, no… that doesn’t cost anything, so I got my bindings fixed for free! Bonus! We went boarding with my church group, and it was awesome. At some point in the day, we all actually made a run down the hill together. My brother went boarding too, and it was really awesome and encouraging to see him push himself out of his limit areas.

But on the first run down the hill, it was all slushy and goopy, there was no powder, and so when I fell the first or second time, I landed on my tailbone again and injured it pretty good. But I still made it down the hill. Because it was so slushy, my snowpants got wet, so it kinda numbed my tailbone for a while, and I pushed myself so good yesterday that I did about 6-7 runs, and I sored out my muscles. I’m so proud of myself, I can do blue runs now, but I still need to learn how to carve… just a couple of more times to go!

We stayed overnight in the Banff area, and the place was really nice… we had our own kitchen, fireplace, eating area, etc. We also went for dinner yesterday, and it was really really good… it was finer dining, and the food was well worth the trip. Have you ever tried grilled shrimp with slices of mango and palm leaves? The most exquisite taste I’ve had! Everything was delicious even down to the dessert. Yummy!

I think I’m almost completely healed of that infection I had, because last week Sunday, I was feeling really crappy still, and I had that horrible horrible cough. I still have the mucus cough, but I don’t cough as much anymore. BONUS! I’m going to try to get fully healed.

BTW, I was just watching the news… did you hear of the earthquake that hit Japan this morning???

  Ready for Coffee…

After work yesterday, I went straight to my parent’s house because my hubby was there helping my dad move his shipments from Vietnam to here. It costed him $5,000 to ship it all but supposedly everything there was really cheap, so everything was worth the shipping. When I got there after work yesterday, there were crates EVERYWHERE…. there were crates on our front foundation, there was 473980248349 crates in the garage, and there were even MORE crates in the back!! Now all these crates held like marble flooring, marble fountain statues, small statues, big statues, and a BIG marble table! They were so well crafted that you can see even the smallest detail.

Other than that, I really missed my parents, and I told them yesterday that I missed them. I miss the most is my mom’s cooking. Even though she doesn’t cook my favorite foods all that much anymore because she works with my dad, it’s still ok because I love her cooking. And it’s within my line of food anyways. I missed talking to my parents too, and I know they’ve missed me. When my mom heard that I was sick, she called me to see if I was ok. I love her lots….

Anyways, I’m pretty excited because they ordered a lot, so if we want, we can put some of them into our house because we don’t have flooring except for carpet ready in there. Speaking of that, I will have to come by and check how our house is coming along… :razz: it’s going to be exciting, and I really can’t wait to get into my own house. I’ve been itching to get out because I feel strangled, like I can’t go anywhere.

Oh oh, my hubby went to his car meet yesterday, and he surprised me by buying me a jacket! It’s so cute, I can now match him mostly! Though the jacket is still a bit big on me ( it’s ok I guess because I STILL MATCH HIM!!!

Mood

I was so shocked as I went outside to start my car this morning that it is snowing!! We just got hit with another snow storm! Good thing my hubby woke up early today and stayed up, and then it made me wake up early. So I walked outside and lol, behold, the weatherman had lied!! Everything was covered in white, and I had about two inches on my windshield and just about everywhere else on my car. Really really not happy this morning. Then when I got into work this morning, I made a huge huge pot of coffee, because today is hump day… and it’s just not gonna get better, I feel it in my bones already.

Anyways, last night, we went to the Keg for dinner, and it’s the first dinner in a long time since my hubby and I actually talked through dinner. I didn’t really get to eat my stake, because I asked for medium, which would make it pink on the INSIDE, but it was still pink on the OUTSIDE! So I sent it back, and I didn’t see it again. It’s still sitting in my to-go bag, wrapped in tin foil, because they ran out of to go boxes. Good thing I was in a really happy mood, and I wasn’t picky about it, and we tipped our server really good especially for the amount of stuff that came out. And the thing that could have turned this night upside down was that THERE WAS NO CHEESE. Apparently, they ran out of cheddar. I was really not happy, but again, my hubby got in a happy mood so I didn’t really care. If not, I would have not ordered anything at all from the menu. Ugh… but other then that, I went for my long and overdue massage yesterday, and it felt oh so good!!!! It was my first time going to a guy, so it made me feel a bit weird, but I couldn’t care about that after a while after he started stretching out my limbs, and I really enjoyed it. It really relaxed me more than the “normal” massage, and he actually like stepped on my feet, and stuff like that. Then it was my first time sitting in a sauna, and I was sweating like there was no tomorrow, and towards the last two minutes, I couldn’t take it anymore, so I had to step out of the sauna right away, and then I washed up, and got ready to go. Overall, it was a great experience, I really liked it. I still have to use my Hyatt Spa Gift Certificate as I haven’t done so yet. I’ll be looking forward to that. SWEET! Anyways… hope my day goes a lot better today!